KONY 2012: Just One of Dem Days

This message is brought to you by Monica, “Don’t Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days)”

If you haven’t heard by now, Jason Russel (cofounder of KONY2012/Invisible Children) was detained for public intoxication and masturbation.

At this point, I refer you to the song above. It had to be just one of dem days for Jason.

Let’s be real, we’re all human. We all make mistakes.

That’s what I thought at first anyway. Hell, we all fall short. Even my dog is flawed.

And getting drunk and masturbating doesn’t sound all that bad. Compared to priests, this guy’s still a fucking saint!

According to a statement prepared by Invisible Children, Inc., “[Jason Russel was] hospitalized, suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.”

Dehydration=from alcohol, exhaustion=from masturbation, malnutrition=from not eating anything in the hopes of getting really fucked up. Sounds like the typical Friday night to me.

It’s not as bad as it sounds. Or is it?

I mean, when was the last time you masturbated in public? The more I think about it, the more this whole thing sounds completely crazy. I have NEVER masturbated in public. Nor have I ever felt the urge to masturbate in public. Call me old fashioned, but what the fuck was really going on in this dude’s mind?

You’re the co-founder of this noble cause to rid the world of one less destructive individual/evil nearly on the level of Hitler. And you decide to bide your time in getting so shit-faced drunk that you feel masturbating in public is in order? Wow.

Take it to your room like a normal human being. There are rules, dude.

Pull yourself together, dude. This is not fuckin’ ‘Nam. Of course, this could all just be a transpositional error, right Jason?

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