This message is brought to you by Monica, “Don’t Take It Personal (Just One of Dem Days)”
If you haven’t heard by now, Jason Russel (cofounder of KONY2012/Invisible Children) was detained for public intoxication and masturbation.
At this point, I refer you to the song above. It had to be just one of dem days for Jason.
Let’s be real, we’re all human. We all make mistakes.
That’s what I thought at first anyway. Hell, we all fall short. Even my dog is flawed.
And getting drunk and masturbating doesn’t sound all that bad. Compared to priests, this guy’s still a fucking saint!
According to a statement prepared by Invisible Children, Inc., “[Jason Russel was] hospitalized, suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.”
Dehydration=from alcohol, exhaustion=from masturbation, malnutrition=from not eating anything in the hopes of getting really fucked up. Sounds like the typical Friday night to me.
It’s not as bad as it sounds. Or is it?
I mean, when was the last time you masturbated in public? The more I think about it, the more this whole thing sounds completely crazy. I have NEVER masturbated in public. Nor have I ever felt the urge to masturbate in public. Call me old fashioned, but what the fuck was really going on in this dude’s mind?
You’re the co-founder of this noble cause to rid the world of one less destructive individual/evil nearly on the level of Hitler. And you decide to bide your time in getting so shit-faced drunk that you feel masturbating in public is in order? Wow.
Take it to your room like a normal human being. There are rules, dude.
Pull yourself together, dude. This is not fuckin’ ‘Nam. Of course, this could all just be a transpositional error, right Jason?